The Beginning of a New Journey

 "You have BPD."

    In the Year 2022, I graduated from Singapore Polytechnics and began working. However, things were not going so smoothly. I kept changing my jobs due to my frequent meltdowns and stress, and this kept happening. A year later, I thought of seeing a professional to seek advice on my frequent meltdowns. However, I got scared of being judged, feeling down and hopeless thus, I back away and continued looking for a job. 

    Now, here I am in 2024, and just became unemployed (again) but things are different now, with a more determined mind to change and a stronger support from my boyfriend, I decided to commit to my idea of seeking a professional for advice. And that happened to be my 2024 New Year gift where I was diagnosed with a borderline personality disorder by a psychiatrist. 

    I had a slight feeling that there was something different about me, but I did not expect it to be a personality disorder. However, after attending my therapy sessions regularly, I begin to understand my thoughts, decision making and my behavior better which ultimately ruled out my diagnosis. With new things coming into my life, means there will be many more new experiences, journeys and stories to tell. I do have my own sets of uncertainties, but I believe that there are greater things installed for me. 

    Having borderline personality disorder does not define my future, my strengths or my weaknesses. Knowing what is happening to me is the beginning of a new journey for me to start with a different thinking, different approach to live a better quality of life. I believe, this is just a beginning for me to understand myself on a different point of view. 

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